The 21st July 2020 was one of, if not THE hardest nights of my life. If you just happen to be reading this you know how I feel, I don’t have to go into that. But here is a list of small accomplishments I have made on my own and also things I am still unable to do since you left.
1. I haven’t been able to watch Moana or Coco on my own. Our favourite Disney sing alongs
2. Again, I can’t watch a single Adam Sandler film. He reminds me so much of you as he is your all time favourite actor
3. I have started to take more pride in my appearance
4. I no longer feel embarrassed wearing new things or trying out a new style/look. I used to hate trying on new clothes in front of you and would always wear the same baggy jumper and leggings combo because I was so embarrassed of my body
5. I’ve acknowledged my eating disorder
6. My savings have increased a HELL of a lot. I have saved so much money these past 3 months.
7. I haven’t slept properly since the night you left
8. I’m working on my mental health, I will not give up on myself like I did before
9. Filling your empty drawers/wardrobe space was difficult but I finally did it, this is my room and I’m making it more of my own now
10. I look for your car every single day and find myself staring at the other side of the road majority of the time hoping you’ll drive past
11. I’ve made so many new friends and I am finally going out. I know we can’t do much at the moment but I’ve been going to the pub and out clubbing every now and then. Beforehand I wouldn’t be able to do that
12. I’m starting to focus on my health and my eating problems, exercising and trying to get myself back to who I was before I met you. So confident and full of self love. I’ve missed that these past 3 and a half years. I’m not there yet but I hope I soon will be
13. I have FINALLY eaten fajitas – our ‘go to’ favourite meal together so it did not feel right not Loki g it for you, but I did it
14. Everyday I notice and feel myself getting better. Eventually I will be over you and you won’t be the only thought in my brain