JUNE FAVOURITES

Being in lockdown I have had plenty of time to test out new products and whilst I have taken the opportunity to try and save as much money as I can throughout these past few months, it was recently my birthday and was gifted some lovely presents and even a few that I had brought for myself too, I had to do a Monthly Favourites list!

REVLON HAIR DRYER

If you have mega thick hair like me you will know the dread of hair wash day knowing you’ll have to spend absolutely ages drying your hair. Such a pain! As I do not have ¬£500 to spend on a Dyson hair dryer, the dream, I saw really good reviews for the Revlon hair drying brush and I am so glad I brought it! The paddle/brush is so big it’s goes through my hair effortlessly with no knots.

https://www.argos.co.uk/product/2072751

THE ORDINARY

I have always had such a basic skin care ‘routine’, if you could even call it that?! I just used micellar water to remove my makeup and a face mask here and there. For my birthday I was given a ‘The Ordinary’ set as I have been going on about it for soooo long and WOW what a life changer! The products feel so simple and natural on my skin and I love how each product is targeted so specifically – my skin has been loving it so far. You’re welcome skin!

https://theordinary.deciem.com/product/rdn-the-daily-set?ccvis=1

NEW EYESHADOW PALETTES

A recent goal of mine is to get back into makeup, I used to always be so creative with my makeup and would really enjoy the time I spent doing my makeup in the morning before work and even just going out and about, I would never leave the house without my face on. That’s not because I was insecure but because I loved doing it and was my hobby! So for my birthday I got the Jeffree Star X Shane Dawson Conspiracy palette, the Stacy Marie Carnival palette and I soon after purchased the Jeffree Star Cremated palette, I love them all and cannot wait to hopefully show off the looks I create! Trust the process.

ANASTASIA BEVERLY HILLS: NICOLE GUERRIERO GLOW KIT

This is another beauty item I was gifted and it has completely changed my face! These highlighters are absolutely stunning and even on a pale complexion like mine, all of the shades go perfect with any skin tone. Very pigmented too!

https://www.beautybay.com/p/anastasia-beverly-hills/nicole-guerriero-glow-kit/

NINTENDO SWITCH LITE

I have been trying so hard recently to limit my activity on my phone and especially social media, I’ve tried picking up a few books but I’m not always in the frame of mind to focus on a book so since I got my Switch Lite I spend a few moments out of my day away from social media but still involved in my technology on my Switch. Of course it helps that Animal Crossing is complete nostalgia for me!

https://www.argos.co.uk/product/2078274?rec=PDP%5B7628849%5D:bottomSlider:P1:OHAT:alternative:2078274:jo9BXkmFmFvTaHThvbes

MRS HINCH: LITTLE BOOK OF LISTS

I honestly cannot tell you how much this book has changed my life…..HEAR ME OUT! I know it’s just a book of lists and not much to it but the motivation I’ve got from this is insane. I used to be so so messy and my parents would constantly nag me about cleaning my room and bathroom but I would NEVER stick to keeping anything tidy I was so lazy. I then followed Mrs Hinch on Instagram, slowly started to fall in love and as an avid stationary lover I thought the way her lists looked were so cute so I got the book and my room and bathroom has never been cleaner! It’s amazing and something so simple has changed me from having a messy room 24/7 to everything being spotless!

https://www.tesco.com/groceries/en-GB/products/306577309

I have linked everything for you all to check out if wanting to! I really love reading monthly faves as one, I’m nosey and like to check out what others are loving and two, I am open to recommendations! It’s nice to read reviews that you know are completely personally opinionated you know they’re truthful!

Comment below your one holy grail you couldn’t live without this month.

As always, thanks for reading. Lots of love

Bea xx

A surprisingly wonderful 21st birthday in lockdown!

Hello lovely people! I hope you are all well and keeping safe in these terrible times. Since the beginning of March, these past few months have all been such a blur to me and although it feels like this current crisis is never ending, time has flown!

Since I’ve come home from Florida (and yes there is a Florida post pending!!! – Very eventful) I have been working from home, which in all honesty has been harder then I could ever have imagined! And I want to share and speak about how I have been coping with it all and perhaps get some tips from anyone in the same situation with being isolated and trying to balance the home/work life.

On the 15th June it was my 21st birthday and I was completely dreading it and wanted it to be over and done with but I need to stop wishing away important and memorable moments in my life! I am so lucky to have such a close and amazing family and circle of friends however small or large group of them they always come through and are there for me 100% of the time.

The Saturday before my birthday my parents organised a socially distanced surprise ‘gathering’ for me, I am very fortunate to have a big enough garden where we were able to do that and still be safe at the same time. It was so lovely! Of course not everyone could be there but it was so nice to see the people we were able to. For just that one evening, everything felt so normal and I treasure that moment where I could see my friends and some of my family after so long.

Recently I’ve had such a change of tune and am really trying to work and better myself regardless of the circumstances or situation. I feel I’m doing really well and these past few days have really opened my eyes to how loved and supported I am and I am so thankful for those who have helped me feel like this.

Can we just take a moment to admire how absolutely beautiful my cake was!! IN LOVE!!! Seeing this you will also not be surprised about how may Bee themed presents I got, including this amazing hamper my mum made me.

All in all my birthday was wonderful and I enjoyed every single moment and am so very lucky for everyone I have in my life!

Thanks for reading my lovelies. See you in my next one!

Bea xx

The Beauty Tag!

Hello lovely people! Heres a lil beauty tag for you all! I decided to try this out by reading  a blog called Kawaii Beauty Corner. Which you can check her tag out here.
She actually answered 30 of the questions, but I tell you my makeup routine/interest is not that wide sooooo I’ve narrowed it down to 11. I love doing these kind of tag posts, let me know in the comments if you enjoy reading them!

  1. What was your first beauty item?
    Im not¬†actually sure¬†I had a foundation/face product as my first beauty item you¬†know,¬†I am almost 100% sure it was clear mascara! Haha clear mascara, what a¬†difference ūüėČ I¬†remember being so excited putting it on for school just to tell my friends that I had it!
  2. Describe your perfect mascara
    Mascara is much of a muchness for me.¬†Don’t get me wrong¬†I wear¬†it everyday, however¬†I then put my falsies¬†on top, so¬†doesn’t really matter to me. I do really love my¬†Bottom lashes to be black and thick though, so¬†I always¬†trust¬†Benefit ‘They’re¬†real”¬†can’t go wrong!
  3. What kind of foundation coverage do you prefer?
    Highhhhhhh coverage always! It has been majorly hot here in Britain recently, so¬†I¬†haven’t been wearing foundation as¬†I can never just use a little amount,¬†I¬†either wear a tinted moisturiser or¬†nothing at all, so when¬†I do put my foundation on, its bye-bye blemishes!
  4. Favourite high end brand?
    Hmm, you know, I love makeup, I do. But¬†I’m¬†not really one to splurge on a ¬£50 foundation. Or ¬£20 on a setting powder…like the¬†Laura Mercier brightening powder…even though its¬†incredible and¬†I love it! I just¬†can’t justify paying the price.
  5. Favourite drugstore brand?
    Ah now this is the question for me! I’ve always been a Rimmel¬†girl for foundation, but at the moment loving the L’oreal “True match” foundation. I love Rimmel eyeshadow, the amazing and highly underrated Collection “Lasting Perfection” concealer, which is amazing and¬†I’ve seen so many people review it and say just the same! Cheap and¬†cheerful.
  6. Do you wear fake lashes?
    I do, everyday! Its a fact, once you start¬†wearing them you¬†can’t stop! I’ve always had tiny, straight lashes so have always hated the look of just mascara, so¬†I would always have my mascara super chunky and clumpy, just to add any sort of length and¬†definition. Thats¬†until¬†I¬†discovered the world of eyelash¬†extensions….uh oh. They were my LIFE! I love them¬†with all my heart, but at the moment¬†I’m giving my lashes a break, so back to strip lashes it is!
  7. Do you avoid certain ingredients in cosmetics like parabens or sulfates?
    This sounds really bad…..but¬†I¬†don’t… I¬†wouldn’t have a clue what to look for or what to not look for. This is where¬†I need educating¬†I guess!
  8. Favourite bath and body brand?
    Im not one to have baths religiously with 20 bath bombs and all of that. But when I do have the occasional bath bomb (Snow Fairy from LUSH of course) I always think to myself, I need to do this more often!
  9. 5 Favourite Beauty Gurus?
    I kinda hate that word ‘guru’ but nevertheless, I love James Charles, Nikkitutorials, Jeffree Star and Bretman Rock.
  10. What type of product do you buy the most of?
    Definitely my strip lashes as they begin to get all scabby after a few weeks.
  11. What do you love about makeup?
    Hmm, this¬†isn’t a hard¬†question, but¬†I¬†don’t want it to sound like we have to rely on makeup. Do¬†I feel 10X better when¬†I¬†wear it?¬†Absolutely. Do¬†I wear it every day? Nope. I have consecutive days where¬†I¬†don’t wear it on the¬†trot¬† but then¬†I¬†love when¬†I wear it, makeup can be a confidence booster and it can be art. It however you decide to wear it.

Thanks a bunch!

Bea x

Blonde, Ballsy and Beaming!

Hello lovely people! Welcome back to ForeverBea after yet another 3 month time out…Whoopsie.

It has been a crazy 3/4 months for me I’ll tell you that for certain! I wanted to do a bit of a ‘Life Update’ for anyone who may be slightly interested. I didn’t want to just jump straight back into the game without sharing my new-found inspiration to carry on with my blog!

So since the last time I was active, March, it was only a month and a half left to go until I was flying to America.  Unfortunately in that time I was actually going through a breakup, subsequently meaning I didn’t end up going on holiday. As upsetting and painful as that was, I still always try to stand by “Everything happens for a reason”. It was extremely hard sometimes and believe me it took a while, but looking back now, not going away on that holiday was probably the best outcome for the situation at the time. So unfortunately there will be no Disney World/Florida spam posts. This was actually my first proper breakup. And I have never experienced pain and hurt like it. However like everyone told me, there would soon come a day where you wake up and basically tell yourself you have no more tears left to cry, and eventually move on. It took me a month to realise my worth and now, we are actually still seeing each other and working on things, but like I said, everything happens for a reason. During this time I had also been made redundant. Which was scary, and starting a new job in the frame of mind I was in, ruined me. So with all that shit happening, I thought, this isn’t me. Whoever I had become over these past 5 months or so, it wasn’t me. I used to be so bubbly, no care in the world, I used to enjoy the things I don’t anymore and it was time for a change.

I knew the first thing I had to do was tan. Get my Bondi Sands ‘ultra dark’ tan back on and gurlllll I was feeling it. In a way I wish I never entered the world of tanning as its toooooo reliable and addicting, next minute I’m sat there looking like an absolute Oompa-Loopa and I’m loving every second. NEXT, my nails. I’ve never been one for acrylics, but envied those with them. It’s difficult because I’d know I’d hate them, but the girls were like nope it’s time to do something about those claws girl. So I did, and now I will never go back. LONG NAILS FOREVER.

Lastly, to boost my confidence even more and to complete the week of pampering (not like I had the money to do all of this at all) was to sort my hair. I used to be a little blondie but back in November last year I decided to dye it brown. And I loved it don’t get me wrong! but I missed being blonde. Blonde and sassy. Eighty quid later….haha. Worth every penny.

Things have been okay. Nothing is going to get back to being hunky-dory straight away, and that’s not me just on about my relationship, but life in general. I’m getting back to being me again and I know I’ve said that before, I’ve said that countless of times actually. But this time I’ve opened up to the right people, and have gotten the help I need. Between you and me, Im actually in the middle of being signed off of work for 2 weeks. I just needed the break. I don’t feel guilty for that. You should never feel guilty saying that!
I have a few things planned actually, watch this space ūüėČ

Thank you for being patient.

10 things I would tell my Younger Self…

This kind of post would normally be called “things I would tell my teenage self” right? I am still a teen. I’m only 18, and sometimes I forget that! I feel I’ve grown up so much since I dropped out of college and that was only like a year and a half ago.

For that this is going to be a list of things I would tell my Past Self.

1. It’s cool to be your own best friend. Don’t worry about not fitting in, don’t compare yourself as to whether you’re as pretty or skinny as those girls. Don’t worry about whether you are too shy to ask to sit with that group at lunch. Check in with yourself every few hours; How are you feeling? You can be your own best friend.

2. Mum is always right. Ha this is something I still remind myself even now. We’ve all had those few experiences where you tell your Mum about a how a certain someone has upset you, and she will instantly have a correct judgement and solution. Once you tell your Mum someone’s a crappy person, there’s no going back.

3. Please ease up on the boy craziness! Stop spending hours on end watching YouTube videos titled “10 signs a boy fancies you”. Yes. Yes I really did that… You will get over your crush with the boy with the luscious long hair, that he constantly flicks when he’s talking to you. Stop listening to Taylor Swift ‘Teardrops On My Guitar’ And ‘Our Song’. You are going to drive yourself crazy. And you did.

4. Cherish your Grandparents. You did, and you’ve never not cherished them. However there is going to be an incredibly hard time when they might not be here anymore. Believe me, I wish they were invincible. Spend more time popping in for a cup of tea, they love you so much.

5. Get over it. All of the times you have screamed at your parents. Stomped up those stairs. Slammed your door (even though you instantly regretted it as your dad went crazy). Just get over it. You’re hormonal, we get it, believe me! I am sure that run away note would do a lot of use as the first place your parents will find you is at your Nan and Grandads. Get over it darling.

6. The length of your skirt does not determine your social status. Basically. Don’t try and be something you’re not. You do not have to have your skirt risen up to the gods and your tie as short as your patience, to show that you can be like the other girls. Don’t worry about it, spoiler alert, you never entered their group. Neither did you want to in the end.

7. Love your body! As scary as this sounds, in a few years time you will look back and laugh at all the times you had cried looking in the mirror, because girl you looked fab.

8. Stop being in such a rush to grow up. Even after only a few years down the line, I wish I could go back to a ‘some what’ stress free life. No money issues, no career issues, you have plenty of friends, you’re happier. Being young is great.

9. Be kind and speak up. You’re a good kid, you’ve stayed out of trouble. But don’t ignore what’s going on in the hallway or classroom. That boy that’s getting picked on, stick up for him. Just because you had a tough time at the beginning of school, that won’t come back don’t worry. Speak up, you have a voice use it. Bea xx

The Mystery Blogger Award

Guys! I’ve been nominated for another Blogger Award! This is coming along so well, and like I’ve said, after taking a month or so break, things have just gone uphill from then onwards. So thank you all very much.
This Blogger Award is another fun facts one. I think these are so good because it’s a great way for you guys to get to know me and also for me to get to know you all in return!

I want to thank Paige especially for nominating me for this award. She’s also completed this award, check her links below!!
@CookiesMeltdown¬†– Paige’s Twitter
Cookiezmeltdown ¬†– Paige’s WORDPRESS

Where did this award come from and what is it?

The award was created and started by Okoto Enigma over at http://www.okotoenigmasblog.com

  • It was started to give newer and smaller bloggers like myself recognition and support whilst giving bloggers the chance to connect and discover other blogs.
    Quote: ‚ÄúMystery Blogger Award‚ÄĚ is an award for amazing bloggers with ingenious posts. Their blog not only captivates; it inspires and motivates. They are one of the best out there, and they deserve every recognition they get. This award is also for bloggers who find fun and inspiration in blogging; and they do it with so much love and passion.‚ÄĚ ‚Äď Okoto Enigma

What are the rules?

  1. Put the award logo/image on your blog.
  2. List the rules on your blog.
  3. Thank the person who nominated you and provide a link to their blog.
  4. Mention the creator of the award and provide a link to them.
  5. Tell your readers 3 things about yourself.
  6. You must nominate 10-20 people.
  7. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blog or on social media.
  8. Ask your nominees any 5 questions of your choice; with one weird or funny question.
  9. Share a link to your best post(s)

3 facts about me:

  • I am a Supervisor at Newlook (British fashion retailer)
  • I am obsessed with documentaries, true crime series and all that’s creepy stuff!
  • I have a complete hoarding problem with stationary and notebooks. It’s all too nice!

My Nominees are:

Paige’s Questions:

  • What is your greatest achievement?
    – My greatest achievement would probably where I am in my career. I work in retail, yes. That can still be a career. I’ve been with NewLook 2 and a half years, I joined when I was 16. In that time I have worked in a Mega store (basically an extremely popular store and a branch that does very well in sales. It’s massive) and I had then moved store to a smaller branch so I can focus on my progression. And a year later at the age of 18 I became supervisor and have been in charge of the store most days. It’s nothing major, but to me at a young age to have a great amount of responsibility like that, I’m proud!
  • What made you become a blogger?
    – Starting a blog was strange for me. I was always like no I can’t do this! What do I write about, blah blah. A colleague I used to work with has been blogging for years and years and whenever she’d talk about her success or how much she loves it, I kinda wanted to try it for myself. I wanted something I can do at home, a hobby and something to take pride in!
  • Who is your inspiration for blogging?
    – This is a bit difficult because I don’t think I have a particular inspiration. I’m inspired by myself and the things I write about, I’m also inspired by the whole entire blogging community. Everyone is amazing and are trying their absolute hardest! So for that everyone is my inspiration.
  • Besides blogging do you have a hobby? if so, what is it?
    –¬†
    Ah the hobby question. I don’t play sports or play an instrument or whatever, and so for that I wouldn’t say I have a hobby. I know a hobby could be anything, but like I said a few questions back, I created my blog for it to be a hobby and a passion for me.
  • Weird/Fun question: What would you do if the whole world got overrun by zombies or some other post apocalyptic being?
    Um I’d be the most unhelpful person you could ever imagine! The only ‘Zombie apocalypse’ movie I’ve EVER seen is “Shawn of The Dead” and in that they go hide in a pub and chill out until it all blows over…I’d take that approach.

 

My 5 questions to you all!

  1. Is it hard for you to maintain a hard Work-Blog life balance? If so how do you stay motivated and over come that?
  2. Have you told your friends and family about your blog. How did they react?
  3. What are the things you would like to achieve with your blog in the near future?
  4. What are you most proud of?
  5. Fun/Weird question: If you had the choice to have 10 puppies or 10 kittens which would you choose and why!?

 

Thank you so much again to all of you helping keep me on my toes in the blogger community. I think, for me, without twitter there is no way I could promote my Blog like I do now, and it’s helped so massively and I have met some lovely people!

Bea x

My ‘realistic’ Bucket List

Personally I have never had a serious Bucket List. I mean sure I’ve always dreamt in the future I would go Skydiving, meet my celebrity crush, go traveling around the world etc etc. But I’ve never exactly thought of a realistic bucket list that I can (hopefully) easily complete and feel satisfied with it all.

In some ways I don’t even know where to start! If I’d ever talk about a ‘Bucket List’ my Mum hated it! “Don’t jinx it!” she’d always say. But it’s important, some people are out there actually living their lives the way they want to and ticking off trips/experiences/goals that they have set for themselves and having an absolutely wicked time. Today I’m going to start that list:

  • Visit Australia

This has always been a dream of mine. I have mentioned before in my blog that I have family out in Adelaide, and I have always, ALWAYS wanted to go and stay with them. Wether that’s for 2 weeks or 2 months. It would be a dream come true.

  • Learn how to ride a horse

Im not sure why I haven’t taken a horse riding lesson yet but I have always wanted to! So does my boyfriend. Both of our families own/used to ride horses and we’ve always talked about how beautiful it would be to just go out on a stroll whenever we wanted. Moving onto my next point,¬†I don’t think you could get a more romantic setting than watching the sun go down, riding a horse down the beach with the love of your life. The dream.

  • Visit a medium or fortune-teller

I have always been obsessed with physics, mediums etc. I’ve had friends who have told me stories of their experiences and they said how accurate the things they know of you. I think it’s so fascinating and would love to experience it myself. Contact a loved one who has passed, know my future etc.

  • Rescue a dog from a shelter

When I was born, I was bought into the world with a dog that my parents had rescued from the RSPCA (a British Animal shelter organisation), he was so lovely! Unfortunately when he passed away when I was around 8, we couldn’t bare not having an animal in the house, so we went to the Blue Cross (again another dog shelter) and we fell in love with the funniest looking, stumpy jack Russell/whatever he’s mixed with, called Nigel. He was homeless and bought into the shelter in the worst condition, beaten, loss of hair. It was awful. 11 years later and he’s still plodding along! We even Brought a puppy into our lives. But I feel rescuing is so important. There are so many animals with awful pasts just looking for their forever home.

  • Become my own boss

Ah now this one. I want to pursue this. I want to be able to say I work for myself and myself only. Not having to answer to anyone, not being taken the piss out of, just being my own boss. Wether that’s being a successful blogger (hah I wish) or starting my own business somehow. I’ve always wanted to make this happen. And hopefully I will

  • Start a YouTube channel

Starting a YouTube channel I’m sure is something a lottttt of people wish to do. Everyday we watch so many successful YouTuber’s making videos for a living and opening themselves to so many incredible opportunities within the business. My boyfriend has always said to me “Do it!”. But man the nerves.

  • Start a ‘True crime’ or ‘Where is’ YouTube playlist

I watch tonnes of True Crime and Where is channels on YouTube and I’m obsessed with them. I take notes, I do the research myself, it’s so interesting to me. Not only is it fascinating, it also spreads awareness of whatever subject you’re talking about, which I think is great.

  • Take my parents on holiday

My parents are my rocks. They deserve the world and I’m still trying to figure out a way I can make that happen. If I could take them on a well deserved holiday, even just somewhere like Spain, I know it would mean the world to them!

  • Be a maid of honour

I’ve never had a massive friendship group. I have friends, but I wouldn’t really say I have a ‘best friend’ as such. Wether I actually get to or not, but I would feel so so proud to be someones maid of honour.

  • Become a mother

Now ever since I’ve been a young teenager, I have ALWAYS wanted to have a baby. I used to watch ‘Teen Mom’ and ’16 And Pregnant’ all the time when I was younger. Seriously. I was obsessed. I still am to be honest. I absolutely cannot wait until I can start a family with the love of my life! Someone that is half me and half him. Ugh, so so so broody.

  • Own my dream car

At the moment my ‘realistic’ dream car choice is an Audi A1. Sport version (or whatever the correct term is), in white with red interior. Ever since I set my heart on one, and me and my boyfriend looked at prices and stuff, I’ve seen them all over the place. It’s such a tease! I think in the near future I can afford to get one, hopefully. However when I’m a lot older. Obviously a Range Rover. No doubt.

  • Visit the Love Lock Bridge

Luckily, my boyfriend doesn’t read my blog. Now I’ve said that I’ve probably jinxed it. Anyway, for his 21st birthday this year I want to take him away and I was thinking Paris. And I just think the Love Lock Bridge is the cutest and most romantic thing. I’d get an engraved lock that way it won’t wear out. So sweet.

  • Take a photo every single day for a year /video

This is such a great video idea, collecting all pictures and 1 second videos, every single day for a year. To see the change in myself, or anything monumental happening on a certain day.

  • Go ghost hunting

I am OBSESSED with anything and everything scary/creepy/paranormal. The lot. I am constantly watching ‘Real Paranormal Experiences’ on YouTube and different documentaries. So I’ve always wanted to experience something for myself! Wether that means I can’t sleep for the next few weeks! I’d find it so exciting.


So there we go! My first, official, on paper, bucket list!
I now have this for reference and to hopefully tick off within the near future! I didn’t want to be too dramatic with this, and I feel most of the things on my list can be easily completed!

I’d love to hear what you guys’ bucket list ideas and dreams are in the comments below! Or tweet me!¬†Here’s a link to my Twitter.

Thanks for reading!

Bea x

A winter day…in MARCH

Here in Southampton we have been, erm, blessed…? with a huge flurry of snow! They’ve named it Storm Emma and it was the most random thing!

It’s been extremely cold these past few weeks, and the day before I’m due to go back to work…boom. Have 5 inches of snow. Now for those who are used to snow during the winter, hats off to you…excuse the pun! But here where I live we get snow every like 4 years. So even at 18 years of age, it’s exciting!

11 year old me right now would be jumping for joy that my school has been closed, wrapping up in 10 thousand layers and making arrangements with my best friends to spend hours in the snow.

Today, me and my boyfriend woke up at around 11:30am, don’t judge. That’s early for us. And before he started work at 2pm we decided, hey it’s our first snow day together, let’s go and freeze our tits off!

It’s also my little puppy’s 3rd birthday today! Now you may say, pfft a dog of 3 years is not a puppy. He is a baby. End of. I refuse to believe he’s growing up! So my little Sev√© received a day full of snow on his birthday.

Now for a slice of birthday cake, (from my brothers 21st birthday yesterday. Not my Dogs haha) and the fire on full blast, tucked under a blanket!

How very strange, snow in the beginning of March!!

Bea xx‚ĚĄÔłŹūüíô

Where I’ve been…

Well, well, well. Look who’s been M.I.A for what feels like about 9 years…¬†I feel stupid! Feel like I somewhat failed something I was really, really getting into! I know that’s not the frame of mind I should be having, but I do. I think maybe I was embarrassed. Lacking confidence is perhaps the best way to put it. Here’s why…

Consistency;¬†Like I said I was really starting to get into working on my blog, building my profile, what I’ve been wanting to do for a while. When I finally plucked up the courage to do so, it felt great! I opened myself into this community of wonderful people who are in the same boat as me! Just starting off, I didn’t want to blog about any old thing. I wanted my blog to be natural and well, not forced. I got so into it that I was quickly writing and drafting about 3 blogs per night, yet they were never published as they seemed so uninteresting. They didn’t feel good enough to publish to say the least. So with a fresh frame of mind have a few ideas of things I’m going to write about and I want to stay consistent with my blog! Writing this post felt like a good start to me, let everything out in the open and carry on.

Confidence;¬†Eeek. My everlasting battle with the ‘C’ word. No surprise there really. A couple of years back I created a blog, as every teenage girl has at one point but realistically has no clue what to do with it, well that was me, and I made an anonymous blog that I didn’t even publicise, as in post it on any form of social media for people to check it out. No pictures, no header. Nothing. So when I threw a couple of posts on my page, and frequently checking out my stats, of course they stood at a solid 0 every time. This made me throw my toys out of the pram. Why wasn’t I getting views? Why aren’t people reading my blog? Hunny, that’s not the way to go. So, this time around I decided no this is going to be about me. I made an Instagram and Twitter account to promote my blog, rather than using my personal accounts which I think is fine, and I had put my picture on both, posted on them frequently etc. Well anyway, a few people found my account. And I freaked. The only person I had told about my blog was my boyfriend. It’s not like I don’t have a supportive group of friends and family, I do, but I was embarrassed! Its weird I felt happy having random strangers read my posts, yet freaked when my friend discovered it. I didn’t want to feel like I was being judged…its daunting. It felt like my diary was being published! But yeah, anyway that was kind of the ending for me. I deactivated my Instagram account and didn’t post.

I need to start thinking¬†WHO CARES. Who actually cares. If this is what I want to do why should I not pursue it just because a few girls from where I live may be reading it. At the end of the day they’re raking in the views. It was a good hobby for me, kept my mind busy, and I just generally enjoyed blogging! So you know what, stuff it! I’m back, better than ever, lets kick this blog back off.

Bea xx

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