The 21st July 2020 was one of, if not THE hardest nights of my life. If you just happen to be reading this you know how I feel, I donât have to go into that. But here is a list of small accomplishments I have made on my own and also things I am still unable to do since you left.
1. I havenât been able to watch Moana or Coco on my own. Our favourite Disney sing alongs
2. Again, I canât watch a single Adam Sandler film. He reminds me so much of you as he is your all time favourite actor
3. I have started to take more pride in my appearance
4. I no longer feel embarrassed wearing new things or trying out a new style/look. I used to hate trying on new clothes in front of you and would always wear the same baggy jumper and leggings combo because I was so embarrassed of my body
5. Iâve acknowledged my eating disorder
6. My savings have increased a HELL of a lot. I have saved so much money these past 3 months.
7. I havenât slept properly since the night you left
8. Iâm working on my mental health, I will not give up on myself like I did before
9. Filling your empty drawers/wardrobe space was difficult but I finally did it, this is my room and Iâm making it more of my own now
10. I look for your car every single day and find myself staring at the other side of the road majority of the time hoping youâll drive past
11. Iâve made so many new friends and I am finally going out. I know we canât do much at the moment but Iâve been going to the pub and out clubbing every now and then. Beforehand I wouldnât be able to do that
12. Iâm starting to focus on my health and my eating problems, exercising and trying to get myself back to who I was before I met you. So confident and full of self love. Iâve missed that these past 3 and a half years. Iâm not there yet but I hope I soon will be
13. I have FINALLY eaten fajitas – our âgo toâ favourite meal together so it did not feel right not Loki g it for you, but I did it
14. Everyday I notice and feel myself getting better. Eventually I will be over you and you wonât be the only thought in my brain
